Gorilla Birds

Of all the species of birds in the world, none is so universally detested as the gorilla bird. Big, mean, and ugly — not to mention smelly — gorilla birds are genuine misfits of the animal kingdom. These creatures have earned a reputation for being extremely ornery and troublesome, and are generally regarded as pests in inhabited parts of the world.

Ironically, gorilla birds can be found in most tropical areas. The range of the gorilla bird is widespread; secluded jungles or islands may contain scores of the flea-bitten animals. Fortunately, gorilla birds do not thrive near civilization but prefer to stay deep within the jungles. Unfortunately for the inhabitants of remote jungle areas, gorilla birds are an unavoidable nuisance. It is a lucky person who does not find more than a half-dozen of these creatures in a tropical area — even more so if he avoids actually encountering one.

At first glance, gorilla birds appear both intimidating and disgusting. They are commonly four-and-a-half feet tall at the shoulder — full-grown males standing at maximum height are taller than an average person. Gorilla birds have scraggly feathers as well as bushy eyebrows and a patch of ruffled plumage on top of their heads. They have a strong, flexible neck and sharp beak. Their long legs end in blunt toes which are used for digging, but can become dangerous weapons during a fight.

However, gorilla birds are as clumsy as they are tough-looking. Inherently stupid, these ungainly fowl tromp around aimlessly through the jungles and are baffled by even the simplest problems. When threatened, a lone gorilla bird usually will not fight but will choose what seems to be the safest course of action — hiding in a tree until the threat passes by. On the other hand, gorilla birds are quite clever at finding their way out of even the most secure cages and enclosures. When in groups, they resist intruders and will even charge and trample them underfoot.

The most intelligence gorilla birds show is in raising their young. Gorilla birds breed every other year, commonly producing two eggs which the mother guards. As usual, the birds are absent-minded in overseeing their eggs. Once the young gorilla birds hatch, however, they are well cared-for by their parents. Gorilla bird parents are fiercely protective of their young and will fight bitterly to defend them — unusual behavior since the animals have very few natural predators and their primary instinct is to flee. The young birds are well provided for until they are old enough to dig and forage for food themselves.

Gorilla birds are not picky eaters. They eat anything — actually everything — that they can find, which includes trying to gnaw through the bars of cages or chew on the controls of an airplane. Gorilla birds are also the most unsanitary fowl in the world. Sweaty and filthy, gorilla birds never preen their feathers or take a bath. A pronounced odor precedes a gorilla bird wherever it goes — a blessing in disguise, as the disagreeable smell makes it easier for an individual to detect the bird's approach and avoid it.

Gorilla birds live in small flock clusters scattered throughout the jungle. Their migration patterns are as unstable as the wind, taking them virtually anywhere in and beyond the bounds of their territories. Animal experts speculate that the erratic wanderlust of these birds is the reason why their range is so widespread.

It is hard to believe that anyone would willingly pay money to buy a gorilla bird, but zoos and wildlife preserves offer top dollar to have them delivered — nearly a thousand dollars a bird! While it may seem as though the animals are grossly overpriced, placing gorilla birds in captivity is useful because it helps depopulate overrun territories and allows zoologists to control the birds' breeding. High monetary compensation is an absolute must for the pilots whose job it is to deliver gorilla birds to their new homes. Only the most desperate or foolish flyers will volunteer for a "suicide" delivery run unless the price is right.

Gorilla birds have several uses in various parts of the world. In Zibaldo and Patagoita, pygmy tribes capture gorilla birds for their feathers, which they use in making ceremonial headdresses. Several backwater diners offer "gorilla bird burgers" on their menus, although gorilla bird meat is not considered a delicacy by far. A few settlements and outposts have even tried domesticating gorilla birds for use as riding mounts. Gorilla bird races are popular forms of entertainment among locals.

Gorilla bird racing, a most unorthodox method of recreation.

GORILLA BIRDS
Type: Flightless tropical fowl DEXTERITY 1D Running 5D+2 PERCEPTION 1D STRENGTH 2D+2 Climb/Jumping: climbing 5D Special Abilities: Talons: STR+1D+1 damage; add +2D to climbing when used to climb trees. Trample: Skittish creatures, gorilla birds are easily startled or irritated. Whole flocks of gorilla birds will sometimes stampede through an area, trampling everything in their path, doing STR+2D damage. Bad Odor: Characters receive a +3D bonus to search to detect by smell a gorilla bird in the vicinity. Move: 11 Size: 5 feet Orneriness: 3D